The First Crush Is the Deepest Read online

  He nodded towards the sofa. ‘I have my laptop in my briefcase and can print out my resumé if you like.’

  ‘You might get bored without your career,’ Amber countered. ‘It’s been your life.’

  ‘No chance. Not around you. And look who’s talking.’

  Amber sat up slowly in her hard dining chair and stretched out both hands and took hold of Sam, who stayed exactly where he was.

  She could tell that his breathing had speeded up to match hers.

  This was it. This was where she had to make the decision.

  ‘You know that I want to take over from Parvita some time soon. After what happened...are you ready to move away and be accountable for a whole school-load of children? Because I don’t want to bring you into their lives only for you to take off. That wouldn’t be fair, Sam. On them or you. On any of us.’

  ‘I know,’ he replied in a serious voice that she had never heard him use before. ‘And I wouldn’t be offering unless I was in it for the long haul. I mean it, Amber. I want to help you run this school. You can do it on your own, I have no doubt about that, but with the two of us...we could achieve some remarkable things.’

  ‘Are we still talking about the project manager’s job?’ she asked, smiling.

  ‘What do you think?’

  ‘I think that you care about me, but I would need a lot more than that.’ Amber took a breath. ‘I need to know how you feel before I agree to have you in my life. Working with you is one thing, but more than that is just setting me up for heartbreak, and I don’t know if I am up for it.’

  ‘Hate to break the news to you, gorgeous, but I am already in your life. And I am not going anywhere. From the second you walked into my dad’s garage that day I have felt an overwhelming sense of recognition and connection. I have absolutely no intention of letting you go again. And, from what I saw, that orphanage needs someone who is handy with a car repair kit and those girls could use someone to teach IT and my version of English. I can probably fit all of that in around my freelance writing work.’

  ‘I’m scared, Sam.’

  Sam silenced her by pressing his fingertips to her lips. ‘I know. But you haven’t heard the rest of the offer. My dad has just finished renovating a sweet little two bedroom terraced house within walking distance of where we are sitting.’ His lips turned up into a smile. ‘The whole place is about the size of your penthouse living room. But it has a garden. A garden fit for children and pets. And all it needs is a little love to make it a family home. It’s ours. All you have to do is say the word.’

  He stood up and pressed one hand onto each of her shoulders.

  ‘I should be going. My dad needs me to help him plaster a wall. But you know where to find me when you decide that you are crazy in love with me after all. And Amber, don’t wait another ten years. Be seeing ya.’

  And, before Amber had a chance to reply or even move from her chair, Sam had started walking back into the kitchen.

  He was leaving.

  And this time it was through the front door.

  Amber shuffled off her chair and opened her mouth to reply, then closed it again. This was it. Decision time. She had to take Sam as he was, faults and all, or risk losing him for ever.

  Wait a minute. He had just offered her a home. A real home. Their home. With a garden fit for children and pets.

  He understood. He understood everything.

  She did need him. But she wanted him more.

  ‘Sam. Wait.’

  His steps slowed until he was more shuffling forward instead of striding.

  ‘Stay. Please. Stay.’

  Sam turned around just in time to catch her in his arms as she flung herself at him, her arms around his neck.

  Her feet swung up into a perfect curve as he lifted her high off the ground, his arms wrapped tight around her waist as he pressed his lips to her forehead, eyes, then onto the waiting hot lips with all of the tender passion that Amber had been dreaming about most of that night.

  The energy and passion of his kiss sent her reeling so hard that Amber had to step back and steady herself before leaning into his kiss, focusing her love into that single contact as she closed her eyes and revelled in the glorious sensation.

  When she eventually pulled away her eyes were pricking with hot tears.

  ‘It’s okay, darling,’ Sam laughed. ‘It’s okay. I’m not going anywhere without you ever again. You want to go to India, I’ll go to India. Timbuktu, I’ll be there. There’s no way you are going to get rid of me.’

  She replied with a wide-mouthed grin and her heart sang at the look of love and joy on Sam’s face.

  ‘Timbuktu wasn’t on my list before but it sounds good to me. Anywhere with you. Oh, God, Sam, I love you so much. I don’t care what happens any more. I just know that I love you.’

  The tears were real now, her voice shaking with emotion as she forced out the words he needed to hear, afraid that they were getting lost in his shirt as she slid to the ground.

  One arm unwound and lifted her chin high enough for their eyes to meet, and her heart melted at what she saw in his eyes as he grinned down at her, eyes glistening in the bright sunlight.

  ‘I’ve loved you since the moment you stepped out of the limo with your mother at your back all of those years ago. It just took a while for it to sink in.’

  He took her face in between the palms of his hands and confessed, ‘I never imagined that I could love another human being on this planet as much as the way I feel at this moment. Come here.’

  Somewhere close by was the sound of whooping and hooting from Saskia and Kate but Amber didn’t care who saw her kissing the man she loved and would go on loving for the rest of her life.

  * * * * *

  THE WEDDING DRESS DIARIES

  Aimee Carson

  Contents

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Excerpt

  ONE

  ‘Can I get you a drink?’

  The busty brunette behind the bar at the exclusive Manhattan restaurant was addressing the guy at the end of the counter. And, when Amber spied the man, she did a sharp double take that would surely leave her with a crick in her neck.

  Parker Robinson.

  Blinking, Amber adjusted to the sight as the sounds of Reese’s engagement party faded.

  When Parker didn’t respond, the bartender repeated, ‘Can I get you a drink?’

  Attention finally caught, Parker drew the sexy smirk like a gun from a holster. No doubt he wasn’t even aware. It was more like an automatic response, like most people would say please or thank you or mutter an excuse me when they accidentally stepped on someone’s toe.

  ‘Why, yes, you can,’ Parker said.

  The brunette puffed up her chest, clearly pleased she’d finally earned an attentive smile, and Amber resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Apparently Reese hadn’t exaggerated; her half brother’s attitude toward women hadn’t changed much since adolescence. Amber had witnessed that grin directed at girls often enough, that knowing twinkle in his eye communicating that females liked what they saw, and he knew it.

  A cocky confidence that, on Parker Robinson, was more endearing than annoying.

  The sun-streaked blond hair of his teens was now a light brown with leftover golden highlights, like keepsakes from his childhood. He still wore it tousled with soft spikes up front, and the little-boy, rough-and-tumble look totally suited him, hair begging to be tugged. Years ago she’d longed to do just that, to pull him in for a kiss. Had fantasized about him teaching her how. And while his hair hadn’t changed much, his masculine features were better defined, cheekbones and jaw now sharp enough to cut cold butter. Yet he straddled youth and maturity with an ease to be envied, that cocky teen housed in the bad-boy adult making a killer combination.

  His gaze collided with Amber’s and held, and a pit yawned
wide beneath her stomach. The brilliant green eyes hadn’t faded with time. Pulse pounding, she realized, belatedly, that he’d caught her staring, and the shameful memory barreled into her. The day when he’d called her out on exactly that. But she wasn’t the besotted little preteen anymore, the one that had followed him around like an adoring puppy.

  ‘You a friend of Reese’s?’ he asked.

  Amber was proud she didn’t laugh out loud. Amazing. Ironic that the guy she’d spent every summer in the Hamptons with from the ages of seven to twelve—the guy she’d loved from the ages of eight to fifteen—didn’t even remember her.

  Though, in his defense, she’d been in the sixth grade the last time he saw her.

  In jeans and a leather jacket the color of burnt butter, Parker picked up his glass and came closer, moving with that easy earthy stroll that came with a confidence few could dream of. It had been captivating on Parker the teen.

  On Parker the man, it was absolutely breathtaking.

  He slid onto the bar stool next to hers and leaned his elbow on the counter, facing Amber. Parker cleared his throat and lowered his head a little to look up at her face—most likely a stupefied face—as if worried her lack of response meant she wasn’t completely sane.

  Parker seated this close was definitely threatening her sanity.

  ‘Are you a friend of Reese and Dylan’s?’ he repeated.

  It had been fifteen years since she’d seen him, had been close enough to touch. She gripped her glass and sipped her wine, hoping she looked more sophisticated than she felt.

  Amber managed a nod of her head. ‘I’ve known Reese a long time.’ I’ve known you a long time. ‘Why would I be at their engagement party if I didn’t know them?’

  ‘Could be a party crasher, here for the expensive food and free drinks.’

  It was surreal to be having this conversation with her childhood crush, protected by her unknown identity. Because she had plenty to be embarrassed about when it came to Parker.

  From the time Reese had asked her to handle her wedding, Amber had been dreading the moment she had to measure this man for his tux—an event that needed to occur soon. But she’d thought she could relax tonight because Reese had said Parker would never show. He hadn’t attended any of the other parties for his half sister and her fiancé. So why had he come now?

  ‘Is that why you’re here?’ she said with a smile. ‘For the free food?’

  Parker let out a bitter scoff. ‘If only.’

  He didn’t want to be here.

  The realization hit her with all the force of a sledgehammer on steroids. It fit with what Reese had told her, the man who refused to have anything to do with the Michael family anymore. Not that Amber could blame him. But ever since her engagement, his sister had been trying to pull him back into, well, if not into the fold, at least within touching distance.

  He tipped his head with an almost boyish curiosity. ‘Do I know you?’ he said, and Amber’s heart froze. ‘I definitely think I know you.’

  He pursed his lips contemplatively, and Amber wished her memory of his mouth hadn’t been so spot on. He did have the most gorgeous lips in the world. Full. Sinful. Utterly kissable. Pretty savvy of a stupid twelve-year-old to notice, if she did say so herself.

  Enjoying the rare sense of power in Parker’s presence, she sent him another smile. ‘Maybe.’

  ‘A name would be helpful,’ he said.

  Amber let out an overly thoughtful hmm, as if she were seriously considering giving him the information. But suddenly, the moment she’d been dreading, her first meeting with Parker, was more about fun than fear.

  ‘That would be too easy,’ she said.

  Parker’s understanding smile at her tone set her pulse fluttering. ‘Okay,’ he said, settling in as if for a prolonged conversation, the light in his eyes sizzling. ‘I’ll bite.’

  God, she wished he would.

  ‘Do I know you through your work?’ he said.

  Amber bit back the smile. ‘Could be,’ she said with laughter in her tone. ‘I used to be a seamstress, but now I own my own bridal shop.’

  He actually recoiled as if slapped, and the look on his face as he backpedaled made her laugh. Clearly, Parker Robinson was offended at the thought of frequenting an establishment that dealt with weddings.

  ‘Definitely not through your work,’ he said gruffly. ‘Maybe through mine?’

  Amber pretended not to know. ‘What do you do?’

  He narrowed his eyes at her. ‘I work Homicide down at the fifty-seventh precinct. Maybe I interviewed you as a witness before?’

  ‘Maybe I was once a suspect,’ she said as coolly as she could.

  The roll of his eyes, that sarcastic ‘yeah, right’ expression made her suddenly sentimental. She remembered that look from her childhood, and a small part of her was glad he hadn’t changed too much.

  ‘Do I look too innocent?’ she said.

  ‘No,’ he said bluntly. ‘I just remember all my perps.’ His face grew tight, and a harsh laugh escaped his mouth, and he slid his eyes to somewhere beyond her shoulders. ‘And yeah, you look too sweet. But, trust me,’ he said with a light tone that he didn’t quite pull off. He took a sip of his drink and carefully set the glass down, his tone distant. ‘No one is as innocent as they look.’

  There was a hard set about his eyes, the crinkles at the edges more about experience than age. A bitter fatigue that had started in his teens and now was fully realized.

  That bold green gaze was back on her, intrigued. Interested. ‘Maybe we attended the same school?’

  She shook her head.

  ‘Did we meet at a party once?’ he asked.

  Enjoying his frustrated curiosity, she sipped her wine. ‘Try again.’

  His eyes narrowed in thought. ‘Well, I know we haven’t slept together,’ Parker went on, sending her stomach plummeting to her toes.

  God, only in her teenage dreams.

  ‘Because, although you’re certainly attractive,’ he said, ‘you’re definitely not my type.’

  Amber ignored the sudden surge in her pulse and maintained an even tone. ‘Is that the only reason we couldn’t have slept together?’ she said. ‘Because I’m not your type?’

  The reflexive sexy smirk lit up his face.

  And as the words finally sank in, she drew back a touch in surprise. ‘Wait,’ she said. ‘What type do you think I am?’

  His gaze traveled down her body, leaving her hot in places that normally...weren’t. Her A-line dress was simple, with a classic cut. Nothing seductive. No overt ‘I’m yours for the taking’ in the way it clung to her body.

  He hiked a brow dryly. ‘You own a bridal shop, which means you believe in the institution of marriage.’

  ‘And you don’t?’ she said softly, only pretending the statement was a question.

  Sure enough, a bitter sound escaped those beautiful lips. Not that Amber could blame him.

  ‘Hell, no,’ he said.

  Heart bleeding a little for him then, she remembered the day she’d found him by the dock, devastated by his mother’s words.

  You were a mistake.

  Amber had grown up knowing she was wanted. Secure in the knowledge her parents had been devoted to each other, were devoted to her. Her dad had died when she was a child, and her mother had loved him so much she’d never remarried. And Amber’s bridal store revolved around proving that love existed every day, with every client.

  But Parker...

  Well, Parker’s experiences were opposite in every respect.

  And the boy who’d given Amber her first taste of romantic love—unrequited, but love nonetheless—had grown into a man who mocked its very existence.

  ‘You’ve made weddings your business,’ he said. ‘So, obviously you believe.’

  ‘And that’s how you’ve concluded I’m not your type?’ she said. ‘Because of the dress I’m wearing and what I do for a living?’

  He sat back a bit to study her, no teasing, seducti
ve tone now, but a kind of gaze that could see through your soul. ‘No,’ he said, shaking his head softly. The thoughtful look on his face was deep and, for the first time, he actually looked at her. Really looked at her. ‘It’s the light in your eyes,’ he said with a simple shrug. ‘You still believe.’

  Her lungs slowly collapsed, forcing the air from her body. Believed in what? In love?

  In life?

  The thought instantly drained from her mind when he shifted closer, and the scent of his leather jacket drifted in the air.

  ‘I can’t remember who you are.’ Simmering gaze on hers, he said, ‘How about throwing a poor guy a hint?’

  ‘Okay,’ Amber said. After the years of crushing on Parker the teen, now that he was looking at her as a desirable woman, she wanted to work the moment for all she was worth. ‘You once pressed your lips against mine.’

  Parker’s eyes widened, and he dropped his gaze to her mouth, pulling all the oxygen from the atmosphere. Amber’s breathing increased in an attempt to suck in enough air.

  ‘Awesome.’ His voice slid lower, like heated silk. ‘I approve of my choices.’

  He leaned close, his eyes glowing, sparking embers she’d thought long dead—those secret pieces of a young girl in the throes of her first sexual attraction. Not really understanding the full extent of what she felt.

  His teasing grin was hot enough to light the Christmas tree at Rockefeller Center. ‘Did I get to second base?’

  Skin vibrating at the thought, her smile was strained.

  ‘Sorry, only first,’ she said.

  And technically, it was probably only half base, but she was having too much fun to clarify the exact nature of how their lips had touched.

  ‘Did I slip you the tongue?’ he said.

  ‘No.’

  ‘My loss,’ he said, and his mouth parted a bit, as if imagining righting that previous wrong.

  The tiny peek at his tongue sent a shot of adrenaline through her body, surely leaving her glowing. Fine hairs standing on end.

  ‘And as first kisses went,’ she pressed on, ‘it could have been better.’

  Mostly by being real.